Can You Benefit From Divorce Counseling?

Marriage and divorce are two powerful life experiences that many people go through. The main difference between marriage and divorce is that the latter is typically negative and very painful for everyone involved.

Research from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that just under half of all marriages end in divorce. One-third of divorces occur within the first five years of marriage. This sadly also coincides with when many couples start a family. These divorces often include very young children. Even if a divorce is fairly amicable, it's still bound to be stressful and life-changing.

Divorce counseling can help you develop healthy coping strategies to get through the difficulty of divorce. A trained divorce counselor will teach you how to move to the next phase of your life with a positive outlook and hopes for the future. Your divorce counselor can also help you understand what caused your relationship to fail. Divorce counseling provides much-needed clarity for going forward. You might find it hard to think about another relationship now, but when you do, you can apply the things you learned during divorce counseling therapy.

Divorce counseling before your divorce is mainly to help you and your partner learn how to communicate effectively and civilly during the divorce proceedings. Remember that you will be figuring out a number of legalities as you go your separate ways. Your divorce counselor can provide levity and support. This is especially important if kids are involved in your divorce. Ugly divorces can cause unneeded trauma for young kids that may lead to needing therapy in the future. Divorce counseling before the divorce can give you helpful advice on how to address parenting issues during the divorce.

Regardless of why you decided to get divorced, the aftermath is likely to include a lot of intense emotions, including grief, anxiety, stress, and even depression. You might quickly find out that life after divorce feels heavy and uncertain. This tends to be true even for those leaving a bad relationship. Divorce counseling can help you make sense of these sometimes confusing emotions.

Your divorce counselor will guide you through various therapy techniques to rebuild your self-esteem and self-confidence so that you can more easily accept your new reality. Speaking with your divorce counselor also can give you the opportunity to let out any repressed feelings so that they don't remain bottled up. Another common situation after a divorce is for people to feel like they have lost their identity. This is especially true if you were married for a long time. A divorce counselor can help you find your identity again, which will help you embrace your new life.

In all honesty, many people can go through a divorce without divorce counseling therapy and come through on the other side just fine. However, for some people, divorce is extremely difficult. It's almost like going through a loved one's death. When you feel like your divorce is causing insurmountable negative emotions in your life, that's when you likely need divorce counseling and therapy to help you through it. Seeking divorce counseling is a big step to help both yourself and your children if you have them. Remember, divorce is hard on kids, too. You can't support them adequately if you're struggling.

If you're still unsure whether a divorce counselor can help, there are some signs you can look for. Some signs are relatively mild, and others are more severe. Take a look at these common signs that you might need divorce counseling:

• Self-loathing or being disappointed in yourself or your life
• Sudden weight loss or gain
• Isolation and social withdrawal
• Anxiety and worry that interferes with your life
• Depression
• Thoughts of suicide
• Fits of anger
• Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much.

If you're having any of these feelings on a regular basis, it's likely that divorce counseling can help. Whether you've been married for only a few years or a few decades, divorce is likely to bring a powerful change to your life. Maybe it won't all be negative, but it's assured that it will be life-changing. With the help of divorce counseling, you can get through to the other side. If you have questions about filing for a divorce in New Jersey, call the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen at 201-845-7400 for a free consultation.