Financial Infidelity: The Hidden Threat to a Marriage

If you are like most people, when you think of marital infidelity, you default to a situation in which a married person has an intimate physical relationship with someone outside of the bonds marriage. Simply, most people view marital infidelity as a physical affair. The fact is there are other types of infidelity. A rather commonplace type of marital infidelity is exhibited in the form of financial infidelity.

Monetary infidelity is a growing issue in marriages in the United States, including in New Jersey. This type of infidelity, more fully defined in a moment, involves deceit or secrecy around money matters. While it may seem less dramatic than other forms of betrayal, its impact can be just as or even more devastating.

What is Financial Infidelity?

Financial infidelity occurs when one partner in a marriage intentionally withholds or misrepresents financial information from the other. We spend some time discussing with you the signs of this monetary infidelity. Symptoms of this type of infidelity includes (but is not limited to):

• Hiding purchases
• Lying about income
• Maintaining secret credit cards
• Accumulating debt without the other’s knowledge

This type of infidelity breaches the trust that is foundational to any healthy relationship and can lead to significant emotional and financial strain.

Common Forms of Monetary Infidelity

While we just touched on some general symptoms of monetary infidelity, it is important to dive a bit deeper into ways in which this type of marital cheating is exemplified:

• Secret spending: Making large purchases without consulting a partner
• Hidden accounts: Maintaining bank accounts, credit cards, or investments without disclosure
• Debt concealment: Failing to reveal loans, credit card debt, or other financial obligations
• Income misrepresentation: Lying about earnings or bonuses
• Gambling or risky investments: Engaging in speculative activities without a partner’s knowledge

Why Does Monetary Infidelity Happen?

In the grand scheme of things, the reasons behind monetary infidelity usually prove to be quite complicated and profoundly personal. With that noted, there are some commonplace themes that run through many cases involving infidelity derived from financial considerations and monetary matters:

• Fear of judgment: A partner may hide financial behavior out of fear of being criticized or shamed
• Desire for control: Some individuals use financial secrecy as a way to maintain autonomy or power in the relationship
• Avoiding conflict: To prevent arguments, a partner might conceal spending or debt
• Different financial values: Partners with contrasting attitudes toward money may struggle to align their financial behaviors
• Addiction or compulsion: Issues like gambling, shopping addiction, or substance use disorder can lead to financial secrecy

Emotional Impact of Infidelity Arising from Finances

The discovery of infidelity associated with financial matters can be deeply hurtful and profoundly damaging. The discovery of this type if infidelity (which in some cases is also connected with intimate cheating and a sexual relationship outside the bonds of marriage) can lead to feelings of:

• Betrayal
• Anger
• Mistrust

Over time, this can erode intimacy and create a sense of insecurity. It can make the deceived partner question the foundation of the relationship and wonder what else their partner might be hiding.

Recognizing the Signs of Monetary Infidelity

Finally, each situation involving monetary infidelity has different underlying facts and associated circumstances. With that said, there are some definite signs of this type of infidelity, red flags that should not be ignored – must not be ignored:

• Unexplained withdrawals or charges on bank statements
• Sudden changes in spending habits
• Reluctance to discuss financial matters
• Missing bills or financial documents
• Defensive behavior when questioned about money

As was recognized previously, monetary infidelity is coupled with intimate infidelity (or cheating). The two types of infidelity can hand-in-hand at least in some ways, and on some level.

In conclusion, financial infidelity is a significant but often hidden threat to marriages that can lead to a tidal wave of negative outcomes. Recognizing the signs and taking proactive steps to address the issue is crucial in order to put yourself in the best possible position to protect your vital legal interests. By striving for transparency and communication, couples can safeguard their financial and emotional well-being, better ensuring that their marriage remains resilient in the face of this hidden threat. If you have questions concerning financial infidelity and divorce, call the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen at (201) 845-7400 for a free consultation.