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Can You Remain Friends with Your Ex-Spouse?

New Jersey marriage dissolution cases, as is the case with divorces around the world, can be emotionally challenging. A couple heading to divorce already have some type of ruptured relationship. That state of affairs often becomes aggravated – and seriously so – during divorce proceedings. You may be like some people and wonder if you can remain friends with your former spouse. There are some points to bear in mind when it comes to dealing with an ex-spouse and maintaining some type of more civil connection after a marriage ends:

  • Respect boundaries
  • Reasonable and civil communication
  • Commit to coparenting
  • Honor divorce decree
Respect Boundaries

At the heart of dealing with an ex-spouse following a divorce is respecting one another’s boundaries. Some of the most significant post-divorce disputes and surrounding turmoil stems from one or both former spouses failing to acknowledge and honor boundaries. Examples of when boundary violations occur in post-divorce situations include:

  • Inappropriate interference with the other parent’s time with a child
  • Meddling regarding the other party’s personal relationships, particular a relationship with a new significant other
  • Invading a former spouse’s privacy in any manner
  • Attempting to dive into the way a former spouse spends his or her money
Reasonable and Civil Communication

Along with a respect for boundaries is creating and maintaining appropriate communication between former spouses. Communication is also fundamental when it comes to effectively dealing with ex-spouse in an effective manner. Reasonable and civil communication particularly is important when there are children in a post-divorce situation.

Sometimes outside professional assistance and support can aid in bettering the communication between divorced people. While this isn’t a course of action that commonly is recommended in the absence of children in a post-divorce setting, professional assistance can be beneficial if there are children and a parenting plan to consider.

Commit to Coparenting

Another tactic to consider to aid in remaining friends or at least maintaining a sense of civility with your former spouse when you have children is to commit to coparenting. The parenting plan that is created during the divorce proceedings will have the best chance of proving effective and successful if both parents commit to coparenting. This includes:

  • Open and honest communication between parties
  • Never using the children as strategic tools
  • Never interfering with the other parent’s time with and relationship to the children

Divorced parents need to consistently bear in mind that the parenting plan and other matters associated with their offspring are founded upon a consideration of what is in the best interests of a child. This is the judicial standard used by a New Jersey court in making decisions related to child custody and parenting time. The best interest of a child is furthered and protected more consistently in situations in which divorced parents do commit to a coparenting effort.

Honor Divorce Decree

When it comes to dealing with an ex-spouse following a divorce, honoring the terms and conditions of a divorce decree represents another strategy that aids in maintaining a decent relationship between the parties. If there is ever going to be a chance of being friends after a divorce is concluded, a key element associated with dealing with an ex-spouse is avoiding fights and conflicts related to the divorce decree.

Arguably, nothing hampers the ability to coexist with your ex-spouse more successfully than going back to court because of some dispute or another after a final divorce decree has been entered in a case. Couples that head back and forth to the courthouse following the issuance of a divorce decree will not have anything like a friendship and may end up at permanent odds with one another.

Your Legal Rights and an Experienced New Jersey Divorce Attorney

If you are looking at a divorce, you can best protect your vital legal rights by being as proactive as possible to retain the services of an experienced, tenacious New Jersey divorce lawyer. You can schedule an initial consultation with a committed, capable divorce attorney by contacting the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen at 201-845-7400. We can schedule an initial consultation with a New Jersey divorce attorney at your convenience. Our firm does not charge an attorney fee for an initial consultation and case evaluation.

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Peter has integrity, and values his relationships with his clients beyond his financial relationship with them. For me to say this about any lawyer is really saying something. He is compassionate, straightforward and knowledgeable. I would easily recommend him to anybody. Lewie W.
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Peter Van Aulen handled my case with great diligence and integrity. He is also a compassionate individual who realizes what a difficult time divorce can be emotionally. Peter works hard and doesn't take any shortcuts in preparing for a case… I highly recommend Mr. Van Aulen and his staff. Chuck Solomon
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*Results may vary depending on your particular facts and legal circumstances