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How to Avoid a Divorce Communication Breakdown

A New Jersey marriage dissolution case presents an array of potentially complicated legal issued coupled with emotional challenges that can make such a proceeding all the more complicated. On wise course a divorcing couple needs to attempt to undertake during as a divorce case proceeds it the maintenance of civil, receptive, and consistent discourse. There are some strategies to take and tips to implement that permits a couple more of a chance to avoid a divorce communication breakdown.

Give Yourself Time and Space if Your Upset About an Issue

One of the most fundamental steps that you need to take to avoid a communication breakdown with your spouse during a divorce is to give yourself time and space is an issue arises that heightens your emotions. A proverbial cooling off period is a wise step to take when you feel that you are becoming upset during a marriage dissolution proceeding.

On a somewhat related note, if your spouse asks for time and space during divorce proceedings, do not force a conversation. Allow them time and space in the generally same way in which you may need that type of distance during the course of a divorce case.

Schedule Specific Time to Discuss Issues Relating to Children

Oftentimes, the primary reason why communications collapse during a divorce case is over a dispute involving children. This includes issues involving child custody, parenting time, and child support.

One key tactic you should employ if children are at issue in a marriage dissolution case is to utilize more strategic communications during the proceedings. In other words, do not take up or discuss issues relating to the children on the fly. Rather, consider scheduling specific times to discuss issues relating to the children.

An aside, during divorce proceedings there will be regular and recurring matters that arise in regard to the children. These are not life-altering issues, but important none the less. For example, coordinating a child’s schedule falls within this category.

Oftentimes communication problems and breakdowns can be avoided if divorcing parents do something as relatively easy as scheduling a weekly appointment with one another to address more routine issues that relate to the children. In addition, a structure can be developed for these sessions, including how they will last. Structure for these types of exchanges lessens the probability that conflict will develop and parents will end up at loggerheads of facing a more significant communication problem going forward.

Don’t Use Children as Communication Conduits

One of the surest ways to cause a major divorce communication breakdown is to use your children as tools, including as conduits to communicate between spouses. It is important to note using a child as a communication connection between divorcing spouses opens the door to a vicious cycle. The more a child is used to communicate, the more direct communication between parties to a divorce breaks down. The more there is a divorce communication breakdown occurs, parents gravitate even further to improperly using their children as something akin to marital dissolution carrier pigeons.

No one is well served when children are put in the matter in this manner. As noted a moment ago, this negative tactic further degrades communication between divorcing spouses. Moreover, placing the children in the middle is never in the best interests of a child. In the end, when it comes to matters pertaining to children in a divorce case, New Jersey law demands that the focus be on what is in the best interests of a child.

Retain a Qualified New Jersey Divorce Lawyer

Finally, when it comes to the necessity of making your best effort to avoid a divorce communication breakdown, you are well served to engage the services of an experienced New Jersey divorce lawyer. Retaining counsel permits the ability of having contentious case-related discussions to occur between attorneys rather than directly between you and your spouse.

If you have reached the juncture at which you need legal representation as you move forward with ending your marriage, contact the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen at (201) 845-7400.

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Peter has integrity, and values his relationships with his clients beyond his financial relationship with them. For me to say this about any lawyer is really saying something. He is compassionate, straightforward and knowledgeable. I would easily recommend him to anybody. Lewie W.
Peter Van Aulen handled my case with great diligence and integrity. He is also a compassionate individual who realizes what a difficult time divorce can be emotionally. Peter works hard and doesn't take any shortcuts in preparing for a case… I highly recommend Mr. Van Aulen and his staff. Chuck Solomon
Peter is an exceptionally great attorney. He handled my child custody case and was able to ease any of my concerns with honest answers. He always took the time to explain the pros/cons and was always available to answer any questions that I had… I would highly recommend this attorney to anyone who is looking for one. Jessica Cruz
Peter Van Aulen is a very compassionate, honest and straightforward person. He was there for me at my lowest point with a genuine concern not only for my situation, but for me and my child's well being above all… He is fair and he is strong and when push comes to shove he is there for you. Cathy Dodge
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