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Managing Expectations Regarding Child Custody in a Divorce Case

In New Jersey marriage dissolution case after marriage dissolution case, one of the most contentious aspects of the process is that associated with child custody. The matter of addressing the custody of children in divorce proceedings becomes even more complex and emotionally challenging if a parent or parents lack what fairly can be called reasonable expectations regarding issues associated with children.

There are some facts and factors to bear in mind when it comes to managing child custody expectations during and after a divorce. Four of the more significant factors associated with managing custody expectations are:

  • Understand coparenting basics
  • Avoid understating rights of other parent
  • Focus on child’s best interests
  • Retain a capable custody lawyer
Understand the Ins and Outs of Coparenting

A key to managing your expectations in regard to custody in a New Jersey marriage dissolution case is to have a clear understanding of the ins and outs of coparenting. The key factors associated with coparenting during and after a divorce include:

Importance of establishing boundaries. Boundaries come in two forms when considering coparenting. First, boundaries between divorcing or divorced parents are crucial. Second, children are more likely to thrive in situation in which their parents are divorcing or are divorced if each parent maintains consistent boundaries for the kids. When it comes to managing expectations and the ins and outs of coparenting, you need to appreciate that you really do need to strive to work as a team with your soon to be former or now former spouse.

Do Not Understate the Rights of the Other Parent

Another step that can be taken to better manage your own expectations as they pertain to custody and parenting time is to work to avoid understating or even actually overlooking the rights of the other parent. As a general rule, in a New Jersey divorce, both parents are presumed to be on equal footing when it comes to custody and issues associated with custody (primarily parenting time).

Custody issues can become more complicated if one or another of the parents understates the rights the other parent has in regard to building or maintaining a meaningful relationship with a child. In basic terms, your own custody expectations can go off the proverbial rails if you somehow discount or understate the parental rights of the other party to your marriage dissolution case.

Focus On What Is in Your Child’s Best Interests

Custody and parenting time determinations are made utilizing what is known as the best interests of a child standard. A court looks at how a particular custodial arrangement will advance the best interests of your child. A court considers what is and is not in the best interests of a child by examining the specific facts and circumstances of a particular New Jersey marriage dissolution, paternity, or other type if similar family law matter.

From a legal standpoint, determinations regarding custody (including both legal and physical custody) as well as parenting time (for the noncustodial parent) are to be made via a case-by-case application of the previously mentioned best interests of a child standard. Parents to have certain rights in regard to custody and parenting time. With that said, those parental rights take a definite backseat to those possessed by a child in a divorce case.

You are able to better manage your own custody expectations in a marriage dissolution case by keeping your own focus on what serves your child’s best interests. This is particular the case if you perceive that your own best interests in regard to custody or parenting time appear to deviate at least somewhat from those that appear to be connected or associated with the children.

Retain the Services of an Experienced Child Custody Lawyer

You best establish reasonable expectations in regard to the custody of your children by retaining the services of a skilled, experienced New Jersey child custody lawyer, like a member of the committed, dedicated legal team at the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen. Call at (201) 845-7400.

Client Reviews
Peter has integrity, and values his relationships with his clients beyond his financial relationship with them. For me to say this about any lawyer is really saying something. He is compassionate, straightforward and knowledgeable. I would easily recommend him to anybody. Lewie W.
Peter Van Aulen handled my case with great diligence and integrity. He is also a compassionate individual who realizes what a difficult time divorce can be emotionally. Peter works hard and doesn't take any shortcuts in preparing for a case… I highly recommend Mr. Van Aulen and his staff. Chuck Solomon
Peter is an exceptionally great attorney. He handled my child custody case and was able to ease any of my concerns with honest answers. He always took the time to explain the pros/cons and was always available to answer any questions that I had… I would highly recommend this attorney to anyone who is looking for one. Jessica Cruz
Peter Van Aulen is a very compassionate, honest and straightforward person. He was there for me at my lowest point with a genuine concern not only for my situation, but for me and my child's well being above all… He is fair and he is strong and when push comes to shove he is there for you. Cathy Dodge
Our cousin used Peter's law office to help with a sticky custody situation. He was extremely responsive, very nice and most importantly did an awesome job with the court! He is awesome. Lawrence Polsky

*Results may vary depending on your particular facts and legal circumstances