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Narcissistic Fathers

Some of the most difficult cases in any family lawyer's career will almost always involve a narcissist. While both men or and women can be narcissists, this article is about fathers being a narcissist. The difficulty comes in demonstrating to the court that they are narcissistic. This article will explore how to prove a narcissistic father in a family law matter.

What is a Narcissistic Father?

These individuals are self-absorbed, tyrannical, negative, and are never to blame. They might also be highly critical of everyone but themselves, manipulative, lack empathy and often lies. They are incredibly difficult people to work with or reason with, primarily because they lack the ability to reflect on their behaviour. What's worse is that children with narcissistic parents inevitably suffer. Either they become victims of their parents' bad behaviour, or they become narcissists themselves, creating a dynasty of pain and frustration. With this in mind, courts will be watchful of a narcissistic parent and their relationship with the child. However, narcissists are skilled imposters, and many family law judges have been fooled by a narcissistic dad. Unfortunately, there is no definitive diagnostic test to determine whether someone is a narcissist, and it is a spectrum disorder. Some spouses are way more narcissistic than others. That is why it is important to know how to prove a narcissistic father whenever custody is an issue.

How to Prove a Narcissistic Father Involves Gathering Documentation

Keeping a clear record of their narcissistic tendencies will serve you well. It can be something as simple as maintaining a calendar and making a note of any arguments or unsettling conduct they do. But, remember that this calendar will be shown to the court. Try to take an objective perspective on the other party and avoid calling them any names in the calendar. This will only serve to undercut your argument.

If the behaviour gets extreme, and the narcissistic person begins following you around town, harassing you at work or with hundreds of texts or phone calls, or shows up to your home at inappropriate times, make a paper trail. Call the police and start building a case to make this activity stop. You must do so right then and there. Otherwise, in a few months when this conduct comes up in court, your credibility comes into question if you characterize these events as extreme, but took no action against it.

Also, start making a list of others who could act as witnesses to these traits. Some great witnesses would be objective, third parties, such as the children’s teachers, coaches or babysitters. Then, monitor their posts and activity on social media, and take screenshots if you believe something can be used in proving their narcissism. Finally, save all the text messages and emails between yourself and the narcissist. You must learn to never take their word for something. All conversations with a narcissistic father should be in writing.

How to Prove a Narcissistic Father Means Helping the Judge see the Truth

Some of the biggest clues that a person is a narcissist is the gap between how they present themselves to others, what they claim, and what their actual behaviour is. In many cases, the father will not exercise their awarded periods of possession or visitation, but then bring a case or file dozens of frivolous motions to swap custody. The narcissistic father will often be able to find excuses for their behaviour, and almost always blame their ex or a third-party for it. Usually, they will accuse their ex of parental alienation. Rarely do they admit any fault.

If Appropriate, ask the Court to Speak Directly to the Child

In some cases, judges will speak to the children of the parents privately, and away from the parents. They should only do this if the child is mature enough to communicate effectively and understand why they prefer one parent to the other. Well-practiced judges, and judges who have children of their own, often understand how to communicate with children and can determine the truth of the narcissistic father's conduct outside the watchful gaze of the court.

If you have questions on how to prove a narcissistic father, then get in touch with the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen today. You can receive a free initial consultation with a qualified attorney if you call 201-845-7400.

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