How to Document Your Spouse’s Infidelity as You Contemplate Divorce: A Step-by-Step Guide

One of the most common reasons people in New Jersey seek to end their marriages is a result of a spouse’s infidelity. Discovering a spouse’s infidelity has the capacity to turn the non-offending partner’s life upside down. While striving to navigate the reality of spousal infidelity, documenting evidence methodically becomes crucial – both for legal clarity and personal closure. This article presents a set of nine actionable steps to help you gather, organize, and protect information as you weigh your options in the aftermath of learning that your spouse has been cheating.

Understand the Legal Relevance of a Spouse’s Infidelity in a New Jersey Divorce

New Jersey has both fault and no-fault divorce procedures. Infidelity can be used as grounds to pursue a fault divorce. Nonetheless, you are also able to file a no-fault divorce in the aftermath of your spouse’s infidelity, if you desire. An experienced New Jersey divorce lawyer can provide important assistance in regard to what course is best suited to your particular situation.

Gather Evidence Systematically 

Collect tangible evidence that your spouse has been cheating. This can come in a number of oftentimes relatively accessible forms:

• Texts
• Emails
• Photos
• Credit card statements
• Social media posts

When possible, preserve originals. Absolutely do not alter evidence. Create a dedicated folder (physical or digital) to organize materials by date and type.

Keep in mind that you must obtain documentation and other evidence of spousal infidelity legally. Never hack accounts or trespass.

Secure Digital Communications

On a related note, save screenshots of messages, social media interactions, or dating app profiles. Use cloud storage or encrypted drives to back up data. You need to ensure access if devices somehow are compromised. Note timestamps as well as any sender and receiver details. Courts often require context. Therefore, be sure to capture entire conversations rather than fragments.

Maintain a Chronological Journal  

Keep a journal. If you already journal, set up a secondary journal dedicated specifically to the matter of marital infidelity and other potential matters that might be important in a New Jersey divorce proceeding.

When keeping an “infidelity journal, be certain to record:

• Dates
• Times
• Locations
• Witnesses to suspicious behavior

Within this journaling process, take care to include emotional impacts. This information can prove important in court. Moreover, as mentioned previously, finding personal closure is important – and a journal can be helpful in this regard.

From a legal standpoint, a journal provides a timeline, helping attorneys identify patterns and corroborate evidence. Be sure to stick to facts. Do your best to avoid speculative language.

Enlist a Private Investigator (If Needed)

This might sound dramatic, might sound like the stuff of a Lifetime movie, but if evidence is elusive, consider hiring a licensed private investigator. There are private investigators of PIs that specialize in working with clients in divorce matters, including cases involving contentions infidelity

A PI can legally track movements, capture photos and videos, or uncover hidden assets. Take the time to verify credentials. PIs can provide court-ready reports, adding helpful professional weight to your case.  

Seek Legal Counsel Early (Its Needed)

Consult a New Jersey divorce attorney experienced in infidelity cases. Legal counsel will advise on evidence relevance, state laws, and strategy. Early legal guidance prevents missteps, like confronting your spouse prematurely. Attorneys can also subpoena records you cannot readily access on your own.  

Safeguard Financial Assets

Time and again, a situation involving infidelity coincides with hidden expenses and even undisclosed assets. Monitor joint accounts, document unusual withdrawals, and secure financial records as proactively as possible. Be aware that the time may come when you need to take steps to separate funds or freezing accounts.

Avoid Confrontations That Might Jeopardize Your Case  

Understanding that this can be truly challenging, you nonetheless need to resist confronting your spouse impulsively. Emotional outbursts may lead to such things as evidence destruction or accusations of harassment. Stay discreet to maintain the element of surprise legally. If communication is necessary, keep it neutral and document interactions.

Assess Your Options Moving Forward  

Once evidence is compiled, reflect on your options. There really are two primary pathways to consider: reconciliation or divorce. Consider engaging the assistance of a therapist for emotional support. Again, be as proactive as possible to engage or retain legal counsel.

Conclusion  

Documenting spousal infidelity is challenging on a number of levels, in a number of ways. By approaching it methodically, you put yourself in the best possible position to protect your legal rights as well as your all-important emotional well-being. Rely on professionals, including attorneys, therapists, and investigators. Remember, thorough preparation today can pave the way for a more secure future for you.  If you have questions concerning infidelity and divorce, call the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen today at (201) 845-7400 for a free consultation.