Is Sexting Cheating in Marriage?

In basic terms, sexting is defined as the act of sending, receiving, or exchanging sexually explicit items via digital devices like smartphones, tablets, or computers. In this day and age, sexting involving married individuals and others who are not their spouses is becoming ever more commonplace. This raises the question of is sexting cheating in marriage? In this article, we explore 10 fundamental reasons why sexting outside of the bonds of matrimony can be construed to be cheating in marriage:

• Violates emotional exclusivity
• Breaches sexual fidelity

Sexting Violates Emotional Exclusivity

While we explore 10 different ways in which we discuss the matter of sexting cheating in marriage, one of the most fundamental manners in which this is the case is the reality that this type of conduct violates emotional exclusivity. The essential reality is the sexting drains if not fully replaces emotional energy that should be shared between the parties to a marriage.

Marriage is built on emotional trust. Sexting creates an intimate emotional connection with someone outside the relationship, replacing emotional energy that should be shared with a spouse.

Sexting Breaches Sexual Fidelity

Beyond a violation of emotional exclusivity, sexting with another during a marriage breaches sexual fidelity. In this regard, it is important to understand that sexual fidelity is not confined to only physical acts. The fact is that sexual expression, arousal, and gratification with someone else even in the absence of a direct physical connection whether through conduct like sexting crosses the boundary of sexual fidelity or monogamy.

Sexual Texting Creates a Secret Intimate Life

Sexting cheating in marriage necessarily results in hidden conversations, locked phones, deleted messages and other actions that fairly can be called hallmarks of betrayal. In the grand scheme of things, this secrecy alone signals a breach of marital trust.

Sexting Redirects Sexual Energy Away From the Marriage

Even though people many times try to downplay sexting because it does not involve direct physical contact, the reality is that sexual desire, fantasy, and sensual focus are powerful forces in and of themselves. When directed to someone else via sexting, the net effect nearly always is a weakening of the sexual connection between marital partners.

Intimate Texting Undermines the Foundation of Trust

Trust is not solely about actions. Trust is intimately intertwined with intentions as well. The intention behind sexting can come in a number of forms that include:

• Seeking validation
• Excitement
• Intimacy elsewhere

These, and other derivative objectives, can result in a significant damage to trust even before the non-sexting spouse discovers what is occurring.

Sexting Oftentimes Leads to Escalation

We oftentimes hear and read about what are known as gateway drugs. Sexting often serves as a gateway to physical infidelity or deeper emotional entanglement. This can be the end result even if that wasn’t the initial intention of the married individual involved in sexting.

Sexting Disrespects the Marriage Commitment

Marriage vows necessarily encompass a number of important elements that include:

• Loyalty
• Honesty
• Devotion

The stark reality is that Sharing sexual content with someone else violates these commitments. It is important to again note that this is true even if there’s no physical contact.

Sexual Texting Causes Real Emotional Pain

In nearly all cases, individuals who experience a sexting spouse consider this conduct a brutal act of betrayal. Hurt, insecurity, anger, and loss of safety are natural responses. These emotions demonstrate that sexting has real relational consequences.

Sexting Creates an Unfair Double Standard

The partner who is sexting knows they would not want their spouse doing the same. This very discrepancy in and of itself represents an internal acknowledgment of wrongdoing on the part of the spouse involved in sexting cheating during marriage.

Sexting Replaces the Spouse With a Virtual Affair Partner

In the end, the psychological dynamics of sexting mirror those of an affair involving actual physical connection:

• Secrecy
• Excitement
• Intimacy
• Sexual interaction

In the case of sexting cheating in marriage, this all occurs outside of the marital bonds and is little different from a more “traditional” type of extramarital affair. In the grand scheme of things, in this day and age, sexting continues to be an increasingly commonplace contribution to the dissolution of a marriage in the Garden State. If you have any questions about filing a divorce in New Jersey, call (201) 845-7400 for a free consultation today.