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Realistic Expectations About Your New Jersey Divorce

If you are about to embark on a New Jersey divorce, you undoubtedly come to the case with an array of different expectations. It is perfectly natural for an individual preparing to be involved in a marriage dissolution proceeding to have different ideas and expectations. With that said, maintaining reasonable expectations is important when you are about to become involved in a New Jersey divorce. In this article, we discuss some elements of a marriage dissolution case you reasonably can expect to happen.

Your New Jersey Divorce will Take Time

A New Jersey marriage dissolution case cannot happen in an instant. Even a case in which divorcing spouses generally are in agreement on issues will take time. New Jersey law establishes some time frames associated with divorce proceedings that need to be followed. Moreover, a court’s calendar definitely impacts the pace at which a divorce can is able to proceed in a New Jersey court. Your own attorney’s schedule and that of opposing counsel also contribute to the manner in which a divorce case moves through the system.

For these reasons, it is imperative that you have realistic expectations about the pace your divorce case is likely to proceed. There is no need to endure unnecessary frustration as the result of impractical beliefs about your case moving through the proverbial system at a speed that simply is not practical if even possible.

Divorce Proceedings are Not Designed for Punishment

Many people have significantly negative feelings about their spouses when they make the decision to bring their marriages to an end. They view the decision to pursue a New Jersey divorce case as an opportunity to exact punishment on their spouses.

Perceiving a divorce case as an opportunity to exact punishment on a spouse is misplaced. The New Jersey marriage dissolution process is not designed nor intended to be a system through which a spouse receives punishment as the result of perceived wrongdoing during a marriage.

There are instances in which sanctions are imposed in divorce proceedings because a party to a case fails to follow an order of the court. There are some instances in which a party to a divorce might get a bit more money in the form of alimony or spousal support because of some sort of misadventure perpetrated by the spouse with the alimony obligation that occurs in association with the court process. However, and again, divorce itself is not designed to punish one spouse or the other.

Your Children's Interests Trump Yours when It Comes to Custody

Another area in which parties to divorce cases rather frequently have unrealistic expectations is in regard to issues surrounding children. In this regard, you need to realistically understand that New Jersey courts apply what is known as the best interests of a child standard when it comes to matters of custody, parenting time, and financial support.

In a New Jersey marital dissolution case you can expect your rights associated with your children to be noted by the court. However, because of the best interests of a child standard, it is unrealistic for you to think whatever rights you may have in regard to issues surrounding children in your case ill ever be put before considerations of what is in the best interests of your children.

Your Lifestyle is Apt to Change After a Divorce

Many people begin a divorce proceeding believing that they will end up in financially the same position they were in at the start of a case. A more realistic expectation is that there will be at least some change to your lifestyle when you divorce case concludes. The key is to keep any potentially negative changes to your lifestyle to a minimum.

Even when You Want Your Marriage to End, Divorce can be Painful

Finally, you may have an expectation that the divorce process will provide you a sense of peace and relief. This is not an unreasonable expectation in and of itself. However, it is an incomplete expectation.

While your divorce case can have positive aspects. However, it is also reasonable to expect the marital dissolution process will have its share of challenging and even painful experiences as well. If you are thinking about filing for a divorce, call us at (201) 845-7400 for a consultation.

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Peter has integrity, and values his relationships with his clients beyond his financial relationship with them. For me to say this about any lawyer is really saying something. He is compassionate, straightforward and knowledgeable. I would easily recommend him to anybody. Lewie W.
Peter Van Aulen handled my case with great diligence and integrity. He is also a compassionate individual who realizes what a difficult time divorce can be emotionally. Peter works hard and doesn't take any shortcuts in preparing for a case… I highly recommend Mr. Van Aulen and his staff. Chuck Solomon
Peter is an exceptionally great attorney. He handled my child custody case and was able to ease any of my concerns with honest answers. He always took the time to explain the pros/cons and was always available to answer any questions that I had… I would highly recommend this attorney to anyone who is looking for one. Jessica Cruz
Peter Van Aulen is a very compassionate, honest and straightforward person. He was there for me at my lowest point with a genuine concern not only for my situation, but for me and my child's well being above all… He is fair and he is strong and when push comes to shove he is there for you. Cathy Dodge
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