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Six Common Signs of Infidelity

A considerable percentage of married people in New Jersey and elsewhere in the United States experience a cheating spouse or engage in infidelity themselves. There can be indications that a person in a marriage is engaged in infidelity, as a seasoned New Jersey divorce attorney might explain. Indeed, there are six more commonplace signs of infidelity:

  • Improved appearance
  • Periods of unreachability
  • Secretive device usage
  • Changes in sexual relationship
  • Hostility
  • Unexplained absences

It is important to bear in mind that in most cases, more than one of these signs of cheating will be present. In fact, these indicators of infidelity oftentimes interplay with one another.

Improved Appearance

Certainly, there are instances in which a married person works to improve his or her appearance for a spouse or for his or her own edification. Different types of self-improvement deserve to be applauded. On the other hand, there are many examples of an improved appearance being a regrettable sign of marital infidelity.

The idea of improved appearance being a sign of cheating can take many forms and includes:

  • Weight loss
  • Improved grooming
  • Attention to wardrobe
  • Combination of different elements
Periods of Unreachability

A second more common sign that a spouse is cheating is identified by periods of unreachability. You find yourself attempting to reach your spouse to no avail. For example, historically you’ve been able to readily connect with your spouse, even when at work. Without any explanation, you begin to find it more challenging to reach your spouse by phone or text. You may even find unusual lags in regard to email responses, delays that had not existed previously.

Secretive Device Usage

Another fairly frequently occurring sign of infidelity is a spouse becoming secretive about device usages. This includes a spouse who becomes secretive in the use of a phone, computer or both.

  • Secretive usage of a device can exhibit in a number of different ways:
  • A spouse takes to using a phone or computer away from where you are at, including stepping into another room
  • A spouse adds passwords to devices that previously were no present
  • A spouse purchases a new laptop or computer, suggesting it’s better for each of you to have your own
  • A spouse refuses to share who has called or who is being called
Changes in Sexual Relationship

Yet another sign of cheating is a change in your own sexual relationship or interaction with your spouse. You immediately might assume that this takes the form of less sex. While less sex certainly can be a sign of infidelity, so can more sex. As counterintuitive as this may sound, in a good number of instances of marital infidelity, the offending individual seeks out sex with his or her spouse more frequently. This may be motivated by guilt or some other similar emotion. Whatever the driver, it does occur.


Hostility and anger represent another type of indicator that cheating is occurring. A spouse engaged in infidelity may become more hostile or angry with his or her marital partner. There can be a variety of reasons why a cheating individual acts in this manner. No matter the underlying motivator, it is important to recognize that developing hostility and anger can be a sign of infidelity.

Bear in mind that hostility can take a number of forms. These include hostility directed at you and anger directed at the existence of the marriage itself.

Unexplained Expenses

Finally, one of the more commonly occurring signs of marital infidelity is unexplained expenses. Sometimes these expenses can be relatively small and include unidentifiable restaurant charges. In other instances, these unexplained expenses can be more significant. These might include money inexplicably spent at a high-end store.

Your Legal Rights in a New Jersey Marriage Dissolution Case

Whether infidelity plays a role in a determination to seek a divorce, or whether some other reasons exist, consulting with an experienced New Jersey divorce attorney is crucial. You can reach a skilled, dedicated New Jersey divorce attorney at the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen. We can schedule a free initial consultation and case evaluation with you by calling us at 201-845-7400.

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