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Tips and Tactics for Getting Through a Divorce from a Narcissist

One of the most challenging marriage dissolution situations is one involving a divorce from a narcissist. By definition (which we will discuss in a moment), a narcissist largely is incapable of considering even the most minimal needs of others. Through this article, we provide you with some essential, practical, and practiced tips and tactics for maneuvering through a divorce from a narcissist. These include:

  • Seek support
  • Educate yourself on narcissistic behavior
  • Hire experienced legal counsel
  • Document everything
  • Establish clear boundaries
  • Focus on self-care
  • Get organized and star organized
  • Avoid power struggles
  • Healing takes time
Seek Support

Seek support from trusted friends and family members who can provide emotional support and guidance throughout the process. Divorcing a narcissist can be emotionally draining and challenging, so having a strong support system is crucial. Surround yourself with people who understand your situation and can offer you support and encouragement.

Educate Yourself About Narcissistic Behavior

In that you are seeking a divorce from a narcissistic spouse, you certainly have some familiarity with narcissism. With that said, educate yourself about narcissistic behavior and manipulation tactics to better understand what you may encounter during the divorce. Narcissists are notorious for their manipulative tactics, such as gaslighting, blame-shifting, and playing the victim. By understanding these behaviors, you can better protect yourself and navigate the divorce proceedings more effectively. (Keep in mind that you may need to consider seriously consulting with a professional in order to appropriately understand the narcissistic behavior of your spouse.)

Hire Experienced New Jersey Divorce Attorney

Hire an experienced divorce attorney who has dealt with high-conflict divorces involving narcissistic individuals. A skilled attorney who is familiar with the tactics used by narcissists can help ensure that your rights are protected and that you have the best possible outcome in your divorce case.

Document Everything

When seeking a divorce from a narcissistic spouse, document everything. This includes any incidents of abuse, manipulation, or dishonesty, as this can be useful for legal proceedings. Keep a detailed record of any interactions with your narcissistic ex-spouse, including dates, times, and descriptions of any abusive or manipulative behaviors. This documentation can be valuable evidence in court and can support your claims during the divorce process.

Establish Clear Boundaries

Set clear boundaries and maintain strong communication boundaries with your narcissistic soon to be ex-spouse to protect your emotional well-being. Establishing and enforcing boundaries is essential when dealing with a narcissist. Clearly communicate your expectations and limits, and be firm in enforcing them. This can help protect your emotional well-being and prevent further manipulation or abuse.

Focus on Self-Care

Focus on self-care and prioritize your physical and mental health during this challenging time. Divorcing a narcissist can be incredibly stressful and emotionally draining. Take care of yourself by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Consider seeking therapy or counseling to help you process your emotions and develop coping strategies for dealing with the challenges you may face.

Get Organized and Stay Organized

Stay organized and keep detailed records of all financial transactions, assets, and communication related to the divorce. Narcissists may try to hide assets or manipulate financial information during a divorce. Keeping thorough records of all financial transactions, assets, and communication can help ensure a fair settlement and protect your financial interests.

Avoid Power Struggles

When seeking a divorce from narcissistic spouse, avoid engaging in power struggles or stooping to the narcissist's level. Narcissists thrive on conflict and power struggles. It's important to resist the urge to engage in these games and instead focus on your own goals and well-being. Maintain your integrity and rise above their tactics, knowing that your actions speak louder than their words.

Remember: Healing Takes Time

Finally, remember that healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve the end of the relationship while embracing the opportunity for a new beginning. The process of obtaining a divorce from a narcissist can be a long and difficult process, both emotionally and legally. Give yourself time to heal and process your emotions. Seek support from therapists, support groups, or other resources that can assist you in your healing journey. If you have any questions about divorcing a narcissist, call the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen for a free consultation at (201) 845-7400 for a free consultation.

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Peter Van Aulen handled my case with great diligence and integrity. He is also a compassionate individual who realizes what a difficult time divorce can be emotionally. Peter works hard and doesn't take any shortcuts in preparing for a case… I highly recommend Mr. Van Aulen and his staff. Chuck Solomon
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*Results may vary depending on your particular facts and legal circumstances